Everybody likes to put some creativity into their daily work, and we all appreciate a touch of personality and identity of the evaluator writing the comments he or she is reporting to us. A nice writing style could even turn a comment–box into an interesting piece of literature – however, it goes without saying that there are limits to this. Imagine not having anyone check the reports that feature the below comments, so that the client gets to read them. Our client might get a good laugh out of it, just like the Data Quality team does once in a while, but apart from that it does not look very professional. Wouldn’t you agree?

Imagine visiting a well-known quality-lamp store, where the salesperson shows his customers “all the lambs”. What with employees whose “physcial description” includes an “exposed cranium”, “red eyes” or “amber eyes”? Not to mention a “black hair young woman” who is “very masked”. And those are only the common spelling, grammar or vocabulary mistakes. There are even more surprising sentences that we keep finding in the millions of sentences that are submitted in your reports.

How do you like this sentence, where creativity has struck once again and one term is written in four completely different ways, none of them correct: “Sale assistant said me, that piano is quality.  Sale asistant said me, that piano had good sound. Sale assitant said me, that my daughter will be satisfied with it. Sale assiant said me there is a sale.”

Or can you more or less understand what the evaluator was trying to say when writing: “Clerk to I with smile of service.”, “The service works hard very much and professional.”, “Also the one who aim at each family possessions evaluate a valid benefit.”, “I can understand for this demonstration and stimulus me for purchase.”, “There give no forms”, “Tha sales person was a young man with skin masts and shaved hair.”, “They had two manequies emulating Rihana atittude, very well done”, “a slightly body builded build”, “The store was well prepared and a lot of parish priest”, “The cool store was a relief from the high humidity and vog. It was very voggy outside”, “I could walk easily inside the shop and through the clothes.”

Some mistakes are rather frequently used. It might be useful to avoid writing the following mistake in professional communication: “Then I started a conversation by myself.” Another good piece of advice is to avoid stating the obvious: “Their 3 year warranty is for 3 years”. When assessing a restaurant service, please make sure to spell the word “tongs” correctly. You might not find it a good idea to report about a waitress using her thongs to distribute bread rolls to the diners.

Some other quite remarkable and funny mistakes: “As soon as I entered the train, the attendant came immediately.” “The terrace chairs were covered with birth droppings.”, “The former headquarter is in rehabilitation.”, “The TA did not offer me a second foot item.”, “The restaurant was self eating.”, “When I entered the shop the 2 sales assistants were disgusting about the collection”. A restaurant offered lots of different fruits on the breakfast buffet, which was referred to as “a basket case of fruit”.

I will leave you with some combinations of words that somehow made it into the commentboxes of submitted reports. For your pleasure. Yes, the below texts were indeed written with the purpose of sending them to the client. Job well done.

“when ı was been to there ı ask her.she is workıng aloıne there.She hasnt got name board.she is lookıng frıendly.but she saıd me we havent got it.Thıs shop not saıllıng”

“Big and good shop-window front, however, only well observably for the pedestrians because trees shift the view and require near two crossroads the attention.”

“Visit the intention not covered awaited since the seller only promoter I explained about the offer and I do not promoted the model that I buscaba.ni to be used and that so are the number is the number of celulares.en any time I wonder which was the model I was looking for did not attempt to comvens”

“He had asked me if my price range was on high or low end. I told him I had a cheap Dutch husband because I do.”

Author: Gert

Gert specialties are any coffee-related projects as well as reports in Dutch, French and English. In his free time he writes novels, plays and poems, and performs spoken word all over Flanders and the Netherlands. He also loves travelling, listening to music and going to concerts. He has a Master in Applied Linguistics and one in Modern Literature.

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